


Treat You Better

by Gothickprincess



Series: Winning Smile! [2]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arcobaleno Curse (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Denial of Feelings, Divorce, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Single Parents, Touch-Starved, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothickprincess/pseuds/Gothickprincess
Summary: " When did you notice?" Haru asked one day.Kawahira looks up from his cup of tea. He doesn't know how to respond. What he's feeling is too much to put into words."...I don't know," Kawahira answer honestly.He looks down and smiles." Isn't that the best part of falling in love?"
Relationships: Checker Face | Kawahira/Sawada Nana
Series: Winning Smile! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027684
Comments: 35
Kudos: 223





	1. Redirected Course!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a special side story of Winning Smile. Where we explore Kawahira slowly falling in love. Honestly, there's gonna be some self-loathing and a lot of baby steps going on here. Kawahira is a hermit crab; give him space!

Kawahira never really liked humans. In fact, he hates them with a burning passion.

_ “ Kawahira! Come with me! There’s a new play these humans made!” _

Annoying, disgusting.

_ “ Come on, Kawahira, it’s only for a moment; they don’t have to know.” _

…..I should have seen this coming.

_ “ Kawahira, you can’t do this to me! Don’t you love me!” _

Sepira, I do.

But you had ruined me enough.

Everything started to crumble when I realize that our species were dying off. Love was such a cruel emotion.

It made me blind; I followed her like a lost puppy. She was my Sky, ignoring how everyone around me grew worried. It got worst until it was too late.

_ “....I  _ **_never_ ** _ want to see you again. I hate you, Kawahira.” _

I’ll never regret creating the Arcobaleno curse, nor the two other halves. What I do regret is how much time I wasted on Sepira. I should have spent more time fixing the system.

I’ve never been the inventor kind. I tried; for hundreds of years, I tried to find another way. Year after year, I had no change.

I felt numb when I finally gave up; all I can do it focus on the current Arcobelano then find the new strongest dying will flames.

Over and over, decades pass, and I no longer look for another way.

….Until now.

“ Oh, hello.”

I blink and look to my side. A young woman with long brown hair and light brown eyes blinks at me.

“ May I sit here?” She asked, hand on the baby stroller.

I glance around the ramen shop and notice the lack of seats. Being polite, I assured her she could.

I go back to eating, ignoring everything around me.

_ ‘ I need to find the next generation of Arcobaleno. The previous is coming to a close, maybe a few more years.’  _ I think while slurping some miso ramen. _ ‘ A decade or two until they’re completely drained. Maybe this time, they won’t be inverted elements. Such a pain for-.’ _

I stop my train of thought when I feel a finger poke my shoulder. What is it now?

Slowly, I turn and see the young mother. She batted her eyes and has a nervous smile.

“U-Um.” She speaks. “ Excuse me, sir?”

What does she want? Is she asking me to leave the table? It wouldn’t be the first time. Some people feel too entitled to everything nowadays.

Feeling annoyed, I set my chopsticks down and look her right in the eyes.

“ Yes? How may I help you?” I asked. But just in case, I reach with my flames to feel for any dying will flames.

Finding none, I relax and sit to listen. Though her baby does possess some early Sky flames. It might grow strong with age.

She sticks out her hand, surprising me. What is she asking for?

“ Sorry, it seems that you have a lot in your mind.” The girl smiles kindly. “ If you need any help, I’ll be glad to lend a hand!”

….What?

I look at her; she must be crazy. Who says such corny lines?

Surprising even to myself. I look away, a chuckle escaping. 

‘ What? Did I laugh? That hadn’t happened in a while.’ I thought, looking back to the now fluster girl.

My smile stretch unconsciously.

“ W-Where are my manner! My name is Sawada Nana! It’s nice to meet you!” She stumbles through her introduction. Guess she was feeling rather embarrassed now.

Feeling merciful, I nod and get up to leave. Best to avoid this town for the next five years. 

Ah, I should head off to hong kong. I haven't been there in a decade or so. Regardless I need to get ready to move.

With that in mind, I head home; the young mother intrigues me.

Best to forget, she won’t matter. Now then, should I check in with the sun arcobaleno?

However, it was not to be. For the young women became an annoying pain in my neck every time I step foot outside.

Week after week, she would pop out of nowhere and always zero in on me. I could have killed her had she been mafia or a dying will user. But she was just ordinary, nothing special about her.

But that determination was phenomenal!

To top it off, every time she spots me, she smiles so fake it makes me cringe away. It reminds me too much of-

….Best to leave that thought behind.

Finally, my patience ran thin, and I decided to face her one on one. Only to get it over, then he’ll leave and never have to deal with that woman ever again.

I spot her one afternoon sitting in the shade looking worn out. Her cheeks were flush from the heat. 

‘ Ah, perfect timing.’ I thought, while walking closer.

I peek inside the baby stroller and spot an infant. He blinks his doe eyes at me and smiles; arms stretch out to grab.

“....”

Hesitantly I reach inside; I extend my finger for the infant to grab and watch him coo and examine my hand. He didn’t try to put it in his mouth, which was a relief.

Feeling more relaxed, I sit down across the young mother who seems deep in thought and let her son play with my hand.

The young mother, groans, lulling her head to the side.

“ I wish the sun would stop blasting us with such heatwaves.” She wails.

I smirk, thinking now is the best time to announce myself.

“ Well, you can blame your species for global warming then,” I said, looking back at the baby.

She squeaks and spins around to gawk at me. Her eyes held surprise as though she never thought I was really here.

I smile, ticking the infant's tummy, watching him laugh in delight.

She narrows her eyes in suspicion. “....So you decide to stop hiding then?”

“ I did,” I said, pulling my hand away and looking her right in the eye. “ As soon as you did.”

She glares and puffs her cheeks in annoyance. I grin, feeling giddy.

“ Now that you have my undivided attention, what business do you have with me? I don’t remember crossing paths with you?” I ask to look for anything she might be hiding.

I guess my glare was much harsher since she pulled her child closer towards her.

She looks conflicted before speaking.

“....Would..would you believe me if I said that I have a solution for your immortal curse?” She whispers.

Dread drops into the bottom of my stomach. Without my say, the room changed and left us in one of my pocket dimensions.

She gasps, eyes widen in fear. 

I glare her down, feeling every hair stand on edge. No one should know of the arcobaleno curse but me and the arcobaleno.

**“ WHO. ARE. YOU.”**

I hiss, watching her every move. I midstep, after all. She was a danger; I must deal with her now before it becomes something worse.

With my mind made up, I let my flames out and head towards her, only thoughts of keeping myself safe and the system.

My flames are millimeters from touching her when she speaks, halting my actions.

“...My name is Sawada Nana, and I know a way on how to break this curse!” SHe said.

I blink, feeling my mind clear up.

She looks nervous, shoulders shaking in fear, eyes still focus on me. Seeing that I was listening, she turns to the baby stroller and grab a worn notebook.

“ I still don’t have it all written down but trust me when I say it works.” She said and opened the notebook to show me. “ What I’m asking for is guidance on dying will flames and figuring out how to fuse them.”

I stare. I can’t possess this; it’s too sudden. This woman found another way?

I reach out to hold the notebook and begin to read. I had never been into inventing, never had the touch for it. But this girl, her notebook was filled with details and backup ideas.

“I still don’t have it all written down but trust me when I say it works. What I’m asking for is guidance on dying will flame and figuring out how to fuse them.” She said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I look at her, then at the notebook. Why is she doing this? What does she gain from this?

“I see you have progressed to breaking the curse, but that doesn’t answer my question. In fact, it just adds to it.” I snap the notebook close and watch her flinch. “ Why are you doing this? What do you benefit in return for breaking the curse.”

The girl grew silent. She looks at her son, who was looking around with curious eyes. 

What is she thinking?

She sighs and looks at me; her gaze held more knowledge than I’ll ever know.

“...Because I want to give them a chance of happiness.” She finally answers.

What?

She places a hand over her heart and closes her eyes. 

“ All I want is for those I cherish to live a happy life” her eyes held fury behind them. “ I’ll be damned if I’m stopped here.” 

She isn't doing this for any gain. Nor for any favors. 

I ask a few more questions, and all she asks is to help further her knowledge of dying will flames.

What is going on? Who does that? Is she truly that selfish and not ask anything for finding a solution. Aren’t humans always on about gaining something in return for kindness?

Finally feeling relaxed, I release us and let her leave; my mind swirled with questions that night. I kept repeating her words over and over in my head. I turn and twist her words, trying to find a second meaning behind them.

“ Sawada Nana.” I whisper in my empty room. “ what are you?”

I shut my eyes and try to sleep, knowing that life is about to become slightly more interesting. She hasn’t found a cure as of yet, but there's a chance.

I fall asleep, my heart beating in excitement instead of dread.

‘ What a peculiar human.’


	2. A Trickle Of Truth Goes A Long Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back. Sorry for the huge delay. Life sent me a writer's blocks. Guess that's what I get for write four stories. I think its called a writer's burnout? Unsure but I should really look to pacing myself better.
> 
> Anyways, its here and I would love some feedback, I'm unsure if I'm writing it lovey-dovey/confused.
> 
> see you soon!

Two hundred years.

That's how long its been since his last visit. Well, sort of, sure, the child was lost and found his way back home after a few minutes of fetching his mother, but that still counts.

….That counts, right?

“ Kawahira!” Nana yelled, slamming her notebook down, eyes blazing with such fury in them. “ Listen when I’m talking! This needs to be perfect!”

I glance at the papers scatter around my coffee table and can’t help but feel overwhelmed. I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t the smartest of our race. None the less I did answer. 

“ Oh, my mistake. I thought we were working on breaking an old curse. Not about building a house from scratch.” I said with a sly smirk hidden behind my cup of tea.

I jerk to the right, watching another pencil jam itself on my wall. For the past few months of knowing each other, I had found out that Nana has a sharp aim with small objects. When angered, she tends to throw them with deadly precision.

“ Bakahira!” She yells, glaring daggers at me. “ Can you try to focus for five minutes!? You're worse than Mori!”

I frown, feeling offended by being referred to her friend Mori. I had unfortunately met her a few weeks back and had regrets that immensely. Such simple women and lots of energy tend to tire me out. 

Without me noticing, Nana had gotten up and move to sit next to me. In a surprise, I could only watch as she sets her notebook down while tucking her hair behind her ear.

“ Look,” Nana said, pointing at a certain article, she starts on another rant, but I wasn’t listening. I was too busy remembering how to breathe, feeling her warmth seep into me as she leans closer, her shoulder resting against mine.

“- Do you understand now?” She looks up from her notebook; her eyes look more vibrant up close.

I can feel my pulse quicken; my neck feels much warmer than it should. Do I have an allergic reaction? Am I sick?

Thoughts continue to swirl in my head while Nana pulls away, going back to talking about new formulas and more.

Taking my chance, I get up and walk away from what’s bothering me. It must be anxiety; It has been a while since I last been friendly with another human.

“ I think we should wrap things up for the night. Isn’t your parents leaving to visit other relatives today?” I said, trying my best to get her to leave without being too rude about it.

Nana furrows her eyebrows, lips purse in thought. “ Yeah, you are right. I should head out then.”

She goes to gathers her papers into a neat pile. While she’s shuffling papers away, I silently breathe a sigh of relief. Social interactions are draining.

Nana grins when everything is put back in her large purse and goes to leave Kawahira’s house.

They stop at the front door.

“ Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Nana said, a smile on her face.

“ Of course, I’ll see-”

Kawahira feels her arms wrap around him, her head pressing against his chest. Her body radiates such heat, it concerning. He doesn’t know what to do. Does he wrap his arms around her too? He hasn’t hug anyone in centuries. What should he do? Would it be too impolite to push her away?

Regardless, Nana was the first to pull away. She walks a few feet from the door, a beaming smile on her face.

“ Later, Kawahira!”

  
“....Later.” He whispers, watching her runoff.

He stands there for a couple of moments, trying to piece together what just happened, but nothing is coming up. Finally, he shuts the door and goes back to read some new books.

_ ‘ I wonder if I still have some old medical textbooks on True Earthlings. These symptoms of anxiety are becoming concerning. For now, I should limit my contact with others.’ _ Kawahira thought confidently.

He refuses to answer any of her late-night calls. That much more personal than an acquaintance. That's all they are to each other.

…..Right?

\--------------

Kawahira found out that Nana had a lot of good qualities as a person. She was bright, constantly throwing out new ideas and working on them until she couldn’t find even an inch to fix.

Nana was kind, always gentle with her son. Every time he sees her interacting with her child makes he remembers his own mother. They both have gentle smiles and warm hands.

Another was how headstrong she was. Never had Nana ever given up. Even when most experiments blow up in her face, she keeps trying. It feels useless at times, but then she looks at me right in the eye. Her eyes sparkling with such resolve I’m committed to trying again.

“Let's try again!”

Its pointless, I want to say. But I always clam up and let her try.

She’s really something.

“ Iemitsu.” Nana hissed into her phone.

We’re in Tsuna's room while I play with Tsuna. He’s already walking for a one-year-old and had master standing up without needing a pair of arms holding him up. 

Tsuna squeals chasing the toy lion, which I held in my hand. I smile, moving the toy away from him every time, making him run in circles. Babies should burn off energy before their next nap. Or so those books I read had said.

Her son, Tsunayoshi, is a kind baby. He has his mother's heart along with her looks. 

“You said you’ll be home this week. What happen?” Nana continues to demand.

_ ‘ Ah, so he’s not coming this week either.’ _ I thought to myself.

Iemitsu is Nana’s husband. I knew that from the start. I always check for new residents if any hassle I’ll need to take care up in case anything were to head downhill.

Nana wore her wedding ring everywhere; she talks kindly of her husband. Sometimes too much. So I know that her marriage is of love and not of convenience. However, I do disapprove of his lack of presence in his own marriage and child's life. Regardless I say none of this, its none of my business anyway.

Tsuna cheers when he finally grabs hold of his toy and promptly puts its ear in his mouth.

I chuckle, holding him in my lap as I hear Nana drop the call and come over towards her son.

“ Well, there goes this weekend plans.” Nana bitterly said while sitting down. “ Guess it’s just us, huh, Tsu-kun?”

Tsuna leans further away from Nana’s arms, his eyes bright in joy.

Nana giggles, a sly grin on her face. “ Awe, would you look at that. Tsu-kun has found himself an old couch to sit on.”

I snort, pushing up my glasses. “ You’re deflecting your son’s obvious distaste to you. Guess he will grow up to be normal after all.”

Nana glares at me. I smirk in return.

“ dinosaur.”

“ plastic.”

“ Hey! I wasn’t that fake!”

“ Ah, but you admit you were.”

I chuckle, not even trying to dodge stuff toy. Tsuna getting excited, leans forward to my face. With his added weight, I fall to the floor, letting Tsuna laugh and crawl over me.

Tsuna settles on my upper shoulder; he slumps and stays there while grasping the toy. I can hear Nana laugh freely, finding it amusing as well.

God, my cheeks hurt; it truly has been a while since I last smile for so long.

“ Hey, Kawahira?” Nana asks, voice light and friendly. 

She grins. Her body relaxes as she leans on her hands.

I quirk an eyebrow, then grimace when Tsuna decides to get up and press on my rib uncomfortably. 

My body jerks up, and I wheeze, grabbing Tsuna off me, and I quickly sit up to rub my bruised chest.

“ Y-Yes?” I ask, seeing Nana look concerned for a moment.

“ Oh, I was wondering if you like scary movies,” Nana asks while Tsuna walks over and sits in her lap.

“...Why?” I ask, feeling suspicious of her question now.

Why does she want to know if I like scary movies? Is she going to use that information to get even with me? Jokes on her, most horror movies hardly faze me. In fact, very few had barely intrigued me.

Nana sigh looking tired. She plays with Tsuna hair fluffing it up more.

“ Well, now that Iemitsu isn’t coming. The movie tickets I got will be wasted, and since Mori doesn’t like horror movies and I’m still terrified of Fubuki-san. I thought you might like to come instead. It was worth a shot.”

She shrugs her shoulder and looks unbothered. But she still glances at me from the corner of her eye. She must really want to watch that movie if she’s inviting me.

It couldn’t hurt to go? But we don’t know each other that well. I am also a man, and people might talk badly behind her back for this. I should decline. 

Mind made up; I’m about to speak when Nana interrupts me before I barely say my first word.

“ You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Nana said, looking meek for once. Her cheeks turn pink as she looks away nervously. “ I just thought it would be fun if its with you.”

“.....sure..”

Nana perks up; she looks shocked, excited, and confused.

“ Really?” Nana asks, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

I groan and resign to my fate. Rubbing the brink of my nose, I nod in confirmation.

She squeals, pulling Tsuna up in her arms, and swings him around, making him laugh and babble.

“ This is going to be so much fun!” She squeals, getting up and heading downstairs, most likely to start on dinner.

I sighed, getting up as well. But stop and look at the mirror hanging on the wall.

My face is flush.

\------------

Things started to get better. The new system is almost complete. Nana’s lessons have gotten better; she can now harness her dying will better.

The drawback was when she began to wield her dying will flames; they became instinctively active.

“ Kawahira!” Nana yells running up to me.

I glance at her and reluctantly turn to speak with her. 

It’s fall, meaning it starts to get colder, and the leaves are beginning to drop. The streets were empty aside from us since it was a late evening on a weekday.

“ There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Nana grins with hands full of groceries.

I smile; she must be making soup for dinner tonight. Maybe I should stop by to visit.

Then I felt it.

**Mine.mine.mine.Mine.MIne.MINe.MINE**

A burst of warmth and the feeling of home wraps around my own flames, making me want to lean forward and let her continue. It feels so good; it makes me feel safe.

I pulled my flames into a tight ball with a lot of effort and shoved them into a corner. It’ll be bad to let her flames continue to court mine. Its so hard; there have only been a handful of Sky that are compatible with my own. Usually, it’s me trying to court a Sky, but this is the first that a Sky has tried to court me.

It feels off, but right. I know she will accept me as I am, all faults, and more. Yet, I don’t want to harmonize with her. She’s still too new to being an active dying will flame user. She’s not a True earthling. I’m going to keep my distance. I’m not ready for flame courting.

At least not right now.

“ Sorry,” I said, turning to face her. “ I’ve been busy tying up some loose ends.”

“ Oh.”

_ ‘ Please don’t be upset.’ _

“ Once I’m done, I come over. Can Tsuna eat cookies yet?” I ask, trying to change the move.

Nana smiled and nodded. She looks happy, knowing that I’ll be coming over soon. It fills me with relief.

….I’ve become soft.

“ Okay then, I’ll see you soon.” She said, waving to say goodbye. She turns to walk away but stops and stares at me. 

I look at her, unsure what she’s looking at. Do I have a smug on my glasses?

“ Hold still.” She mumbles and stretches her arm towards my face.

My heart begins to thump in my chest. I can feel my ears heat up as her hand comes closer.

‘T-Too close!’

I can’t say anything and freeze too strung up to do anything but stare at her with wide eyes.

Her hand is warm and gentle; it lightly brushes past my face and rests on my ear for a second.

I can hear nothing but the blood rushing up my ear.

What should I do? Can I run? Is that still an option? There isn’t a crowd; why is my anxiety acting up? Do I have a panic attack?

Questions whirled around my head as I feel her fingers brush my ear, and then what felt like minutes, she pulls away.

“ You got a leaf in your hair!” Nana laughs, holding a dead leaf in her hand. “ I thought I’d save you from embarrassment by taking care of it.” 

I froze; I don’t think I even took a breath. I watch Nana continue to talk then leave, confusing my silence as an annoyance.

“ We’ll talk later once you’re done whatever it is your doing,” Nana said, walking away from me. “ Later!”

The streets were silent again. A few more leaves fell from the harsh wind, and no one came out. My hands feel cold, yet my cheeks feel warm.

I don’t understand. What is going on? Am I allergic to Nana? I’ve been around other females, they make him nervous at times, but I can usually get by.

Yet with Nana. It’s different. Its more intense than other women. My heart squeezes in a way similar to anxiety, yet different all the same.

Whenever she’s close, I swear I can count every eyelash; I want to swipe my thumb over her eye just to feel it is as soft as it looks.

Her hand is warm that seeps into my clothes and leaves a mark on my skin, it could be a few hours afterward, but I can still feel her touch.

Her smile makes me smile; whenever she’s sad, I do anything to get her not to be, even if it means redirecting it to being angry at me. Anger is better than sadness.

I don’t know what I feel for her, and it scares me. 

….I should stay away for a while.

Even though I say this, my heart twists in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Kawahira thinks it anxiety and doesn't know that he's starting to have a crush on Nana. He'll get there soon I promise. Next chapter he realizes what he's feeling is love, not anxiety.
> 
> Love you guys so much.
> 
> Please leave a kudo and comment!


	3. Whirlwind Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Warning; Suicide attempt)
> 
> Hello. I'm back. 
> 
> Sorry, I've been gone too long. But I want you guys to know that I never planned on this. 
> 
> It seemed that I had a burnout, Guess write four different stories at once really did a number on me,
> 
> I promise to pace myself better, I'm back now and will continue off and make sure to finish all my other fanfics as steadily as possible.
> 
> Without further notice, enjoy this chapter.

For the next few weeks, I stayed far away from Namimori. I couldn’t stay there for too long; I felt that I’d go crazy with the feelings swirling inside me if I stay. 

“ Kawahira!”

Lately, I’ve focused on Nana and the strange feelings she brings out of me. I don’t have a name on it. It’s a mix of delight and terror rolling into one emotion that I can’t seem to tag. 

I had been surprised when Tsuna had called me his father and came to me for comfort. His young mind unaware of the damages he caused that day. Still, that made me feel all the more guilty when all I felt was a fondness for the baby Sky that belongs to Nana.

It just made my feelings towards her  _ worse _ .

Those feelings got too much, and like a coward, I fled. I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near her. It wasn’t right to be too close. This chapter of our lives will come to a close soon enough. Nana will break the curse; then I’ll leave and most likely find my last resting place. 

Yet, when I think that far ahead. I’m always flooded with thoughts of Nana’s tearful face. My chest aches, and my stomach drops just thinking of her sad stricken face.

I can’t leave, not yet anyway. Even now that Nana’s flames are all but rubbing against mine.

Wait.

I look up, realizing that I had unintentionally been following Nana again. She seems to be looking for me again; it a shame she can’t see past my illusions.

“ Kawahira! Come here, Kawahira!” Nana screams into the empty streets, her hand up in the air as she waves a bag of cookies above her head. ” I have a treat! Who wants a treat? You do!”

Annoyed, I smack her on the head; honestly, this woman is too much at times. 

“ I’m not a dog Nana,” I grumble, tucking my arms in my sleeves.

She turns around, her eyes wide in shock, and disbelieves as though she didn’t think I would ever return.

Then I feel it.

Warm flames wrap around so tightly. Its almost smothering. It’s not at its full potential but its still impressive.

**_‘ My Mist!’_ **

I don’t know what to do.

“ Kawahira! You came back!” Nana joyfully said, arms outstretched to hold and cherish.

I instinctively took a step away. 

_ ‘ Please, don’t be kind to me.’  _ A tiny, frail voice whispers inside my head.

Nana looks hurt, eyes filled with confusion. 

“ Kawahira? Is something wrong?” 

“ No.”

_ ‘Yes.’ _

I look away, feeling those emotions I’ve been trying to push rush back in.

“ It’s nothing for you to worry about,” I said even though I myself don’t know what it is I’m feeling at the moment.

I want to lean in, hold her in my arms. Allow me to sink into her warmth. I want to leave her behind, forget every moment of her. I want to push her away from everything; she makes my heart stutter in my chest. I want to shut my eyes and forget. I want to stay near her so desperately I can’t put it into words. I want her touch, her warmth nearby to greedily have available whenever I like it.

I want to run because her touch is hurting me in an unknown way. I don’t want her nearby; she’ll leave me soon enough.

“ Kawahira?”

…. What am I feeling?

Her hand reached out to me again; I can’t avoid it this time. But I know something will happen if she does, and I can’t allow that.

“ Stop it!” I snap out.

The streets are quiet. Its getting colder again. I should bundle up soon.

Nana looks alarmed, her eyes filled with shock, hurt, and worry.

Worry for me.

_ ‘ Please don’t look at me. I beg you.’ _

At that moment, I knew I had to leave again. I’ll come back when I’m more composed with myself.

I look down; I can’t even meet her gaze.

“... I’m sorry, Nana,” I whisper. “I need some alone time. It’s a mist thing.”

I hope she doesn’t pry anymore.

Nana looks surprised then nods in understanding. “ Oh, I see.”

She smiles, looking more relieved, happy knowing that I’m not avoiding her because I want to, but because of my flame type.

I wish it were that simple.

“Drop by my house when you’re out of your funk!” Nana said; she then gently place the bag of cookies in my hand and then began walking away.

I watch her leave, head swimming with thoughts. I didn’t know what I was thinking before. All I felt right now was warmth.

The air is cold, and the leaves are beginning to fall; soon, the curse will break, and then I can rest.

I open the bag of cookies and take a bite. I close my eyes; I’m afraid of opening them. My cheeks feel wet. I don’t want to think too deeply. I just want to savor this treat. Just like Nana, I want this moment to last, slightly a little bit longer.

“... how bitter.” 

  
  


\---------

  
  


It’s cold; I can feel it numb my toes and the tip of my nose. My cheeks feel flush even though there is no heat for miles around. 

I shut my eyes feeling the tension that had been building up since hundreds of years ago disappear.

_ ‘ Balance has been restored.’ _

Nana’s invention has saved all of humanity, yet her focus was only on those surrounding her.

_ ‘ I’m happy to disappear now.’ _

I had always imagined my death sometimes; it’s being tortured; other times, its watching the earth crumbling around me. But, if I could choose to die, I would prefer to die in the cold.

No one is near; all is silent as I lay in layers of snow. The thick clouds cover the sun while I try not to think too deeply.

_ ‘ Mori and Fubuki won’t care all that much. Nana will cry, but she’ll get over my death. Her son is still too young to remember me.’ _

**_‘ But is this want you to want?’_ **

I couldn’t resist and cracked a small smile. Guess my own flames are turning against me even in my last bitter moments.

_ ‘ I had fulfilled my role; there is nothing left for me to do. My people are dead; my Sky has long since passed, leaving behind only her pale imitations in every generation that follows. I desire nothing from wealth and fame. I’m at peace; let me rest.’ _

In the cold haze, memories flash before my eyes. That of my youth when I was still in my early hundreds. Then, searching and searching for another way, constantly feeling a part of me die each time I relieve the Arcobaleno from their curse and watch as they pass. Over and over, most of my memories consist of it.

Then, new memories resurface.

_ “ Kawahira! Check out my notes!” Nana grins, looking up to me, ink smeared over her check. _

_ “ Hey, can you hold Tsu-kun for a second? Thanks!” Nana grabs some tomatoes; her shoulders relax, feeling content. _

_ “ What do you think of my cooking? Delicious, right!” Nana looks so smug, her apron dirty and hands filled with cooking utensils. _

_ “ Honestly, that Iemitsu! Kawahira never changes.” Nana snaps her phone close and comes over to sit right next to me. _

_ “ Hey….Can we just….sit here for a second.” Nana's eyes are watery with unshed tears, shoulders trembling as she tried to keep herself from crumbling further. _

_ “ Kawahira.” Nana looks confused, “ What are you doing?” _

_ …..why am I thinking of her? _

Nana’s face kept popping up; why? Why is she showing up right now? When did the memories of her become so vast?

….When did she become important to me? 

My eyes open up. 

The living room was dark. It’s cluttered with papers and books. The rug is already soaking up the melting snow.

I can’t breathe; I don’t think I can manage that at this moment. I’m too shocked. I can’t process my body heating up, and my fingers and toes begin to prick as they thaw.

My lips are blue, yet I slowly move them, uncaring how hoarse my throat feels. 

“...Nana….Why do you make me want to live?” 

I slowly turn my gaze to the coffee table.

Two cups, empty, one a cream color while the other is pink with cats stamped on it.

It’s nothing important. 

….Yet.

My arms are stiff, and my legs aren’t working properly just yet. Still, I crawl and grasp for the pink cup. I miss a few times, but I feel the smooth handle and yank it close.

I fall to my side, my head thudding on the floor as I lay down and curl around the cup. I can’t explain it, but I feel that I’ll be losing something significant if I let go.

My body shivers, feeling the coldness sink deep in my skin, but I ignore it. I can feel my eyes grow heavy in exhaustion; they flutter and soon fall shut.

_ ‘ Nana,’  _ my thoughts slowly grew quieter. _ ’ Do you have any idea how much you have changed me? It’s terrifying.’ _

I fell asleep, clutching her cup in my arms. It was the most restful sleep I had in ages.

When I woke up, I had a massive fever and was stuck in bed for most of the week. But when it passed, I had become clear of one thing.

Nana had become my new motivation to live. I acknowledge that I am fond of her. I won’t choose to leave this Earth anymore; I’m afraid I’ll lose another happiness opportunity if I do.

When I took my first step out of my house, I felt lighter than I had in centuries.

_ ‘ What should I get Nana’s for Christmas?’ _

  
  


\--------------------

  
  


Lately, I’ve been getting better at handling my emotions. I no longer let them confuse me, and like Nana, I wait to watch and see what unfolds instead. I didn’t realize how bad it had become until I had rejoined Nana and her friends. 

It’s like swimming in a lake, you can’t see anything, but you know you have to keep swimming, or you’ll get lost. When I came up for air, I realize how vast the sky is and how small the lake I’ve been swimming in indeed was.

I feel more at ease now. I’m merely enjoying the opportunities I’m handed.

“ Nana,” I smile, tilting her chin, so her gaze was on my eyes instead of her feet. “ You shouldn’t look down; it’s not ladylike. Look at your partner with confidence.”

Nana frowns but does listens and looks into my eyes as we dance around the empty room I had conjured up.

Honestly, I knew that Nana would be invited to a ball soon enough, seeing how ingenious her inventions had been. But I had thought that she would have asked her other friends for help. Fubuki is the head of her family and could help Nana better than I can. 

Dancing should be her specialty, seeing how she fights. Twisting and twirling, always light on her feet and body moving hypnotically, it’s as though she is dancing with the grim reaper himself.

Yet here I am, helping Nana dance the waltz. Sure, I had picked up a few hobbies and polished them throughout my many years of living. But I shouldn’t have been chosen by Nana to teach her to dance.

For the third time, Nana's hand slips down to rest on my elbow. I can’t help but smile.

“ Nana, your hand,” I said teasingly; my smile widens, watching her eyes narrow into a glare.

I twirl her around, keeping my eyes on her the entire time. 

“ Nana, You should really wipe that glare off your face,” I pull her closer, a breath away from her face. “ Why if I were a young maiden, I would have already thrown you out minutes ago.”

Nana's face turns red in embarrassment and anger. She looks ready to throw another insult at me and feeling childish, I twist and dip her body, supporting her with just my arms.

She yelps her neck exposed for a brief moment, but that was all it took for me to zero in on a beauty mark. I felt the urge to touch, but not with my hands, something more sensitive than that.

An image of my lips brushing against her neck pops into my head, so abruptly I actually stumped when I pulled her back up.

  
  


“You jerk!” Nana yells, smacking me in the arm. “ Warn me next time! Do you do a thing to all the ladies!?”

I’m actually glad of her sudden anger; I can focus on what I should do next. 

The image is shoved deep inside a small box, left to be forgotten.

I smile at her. “ My mistake, but you should know that most ladies I tend to let fall. You should be grateful for my generosity.”

Nana frowns in distrust. Guess that’s it for today's dance lesson. I let the music fade and pull away. I bow and watch Nana do the same.

I snap my fingers and watch the room dissolve and return to look like my living room once more.

“ Since we’re done with dance lessons for today,” I walk over to the bookshelf pulling out the crystal ball. “ Let’s go and work on your dying will flames, Nana.”

Nana groan and reluctantly sat down, talking about how stress she is over the next couple of weeks to come. Not only does she have a ball to attend to, but she also will be going to a science convention. 

“- And now Tsu-kun is throwing a fit! Not wanting me to go even though I’ll call him every hour.” Nana whines, placing her hands to rest on the crystal ball.

I furrow my eyebrows, trying not to panic. The last time Tsuna had freaked out was when Nana got injured.

“ Maybe he feels as though something bad will happen in the convention,” I mumble, tapping my finger against my teacup.

Relax, breathe; nothing bad is going to happen.

Nana shook her head. “ No, that can’t be; I’m sure he’s just going through a phase.”

_ ‘ But if he isn’t?’ _

“....Alright, I trust you,” I said. I couldn’t look her in the eye. I felt as though she would see through me.

Nana smiles as though she knows that I’m secretly worried, and I shut her eyes to concentrate.

It quiet for the next few minutes, the clock ticking by, and I watch her eyes twitch and move as though she’s chasing something unseen. She has perfect posture, and her hands are slender, giving her a delicate look.

Yet, she remains still.

If her flames are to come, I can guarantee that it will be Sky flames. Too many times had she swirled around my own, calling out with warmth and acceptance. The question now is its strength. 

  
  


Since she is a civilian and her family doesn’t have any dying will flame in their bloodline. Its a safe bet that her flames will be weak as well.

Boy, was I wrong?

I flinch back, seeing the crystal ball shatter from the sudden energy of dying will flame being poured. Its too much and burst open instead of coating the entire house in Sky attraction.

_ ‘ Wh-What?’  _ I think, trying my hardest to push away the Sky flames that are suddenly rubbing against my skin. I breathe slowly, trying hard not to get drunk from Nana’s Sky flames.

_ ‘ They’re so pure and strong?’  _ I compose myself watch Nana look down at her own hands.

Her eyes are a delicate orange; they fit perfectly with her brown eyes; she looks like a deity from how dense her flames curl around her form.

“ ….I’m a Sky.” Nana mutters to herself. It seems she never saw the possibility of being a Sky as an option.

_ ‘ You’re the perfect Sky; why would you think you’ll be anything else?’ _

I push that thought away and focus on Nana.

If she had never approached me, there is a serious chance of me making her the next Sky arcobaleno. No doubt about it. It’s intense, strong enough that it even pulls me. When before, it had been a gentle and frail tug. Now it’s deadly grip yanking me closer towards her.

The last one to pull at my flames waw-

_ “ Kawahira! How could you do this to me!?” _

I shut my eyes, trying hard to erase that memory from my head. I don’t need that today.

Nana still looks stunned, and I quickly fill her in about how intense her flames truly are.

She doesn’t look insulted when I remark about her being a likely candidate as the next Sky Arcobaleno.

A heavy burden lifts from my heart at her answer.

Now that I think about it, wouldn't she need a guardian set soon?

In another case, she would be able to hold off on grabbing guardians but because her flames are dense and healthy as it is. It will be difficult for other flames active citizens to react to her. Namimori might become a battleground litter with bodies as high as the sky if she doesn’t choose.

I know she already has a few friends that can become her guardian. Maybe she’ll even find a full set by the end of the year.

**_‘ What if she chooses a mist that isn’t you?’_ **

I felt sick to my stomach thinking of her choosing a mist. She might prefer the current Arcobaleno mist. She can easily win them over; she’s such a right person I know will be swayed to stay by her side.

….Yet why….Why does my heartaches?

_ ‘ Please don’t leave me.’ _

As I overthink her selection on a mist guardian, I fail to notice her come closer.

“ Hey Kawahira,” Nana spoke, snapping me out of my thoughts. “ Want to become my mist?”

“....”

….What?

I want to run away. I don’t know how to feel. I’m overjoyed at her asking me, telling me I’m worthy of staying by her side. But another part of me remembers how poisonous Sky flames can be, how many times my own Sky manipulated me. 

...I can’t; I don’t think my soul can crumble any further than this. It’s too soon.

Yet when I gaze into her orange eyes, filled with kindness and promises of warmth. I feel like folding and giving in.

Yet I mustn't. 

“ Kawahira? Are you okay?” Nana looks worried, coming closer to touch my shoulder. “ If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I’ll understand-”

Her flames pull back, coldness seeping into my soul once more. 

Dread fills me; I can’t let her leave me! She can’t!

In my panic, I grab onto her hands, my flames reach out towards hers. Rubbing and clawing, begging them not to leave. If I were any less man, I would have sob for her not to toss me aside.

Why do I crave her affection so much? It’s as though I can’t live without it.

….Then it clicked.

_ ‘....Ah...So this is what I’ve been feeling.’ _

Looking deep into her eyes, I curled my own flames around her—my heart thumping in my chest. Finally, I have an answer to my question.

“....Nana I-”

  
  
  
  


_ ‘ ...I love you.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kawahira had always been a complex person in my head. From his motives to his emotions. I think that living a life full of nothing but reluctantly torturing others can dull a man over time. Becuase of that, Kawahira did not realize that he was in love with her, like most emotionally stunted people, they both want and don't want love. Now he knows what that feeling is called.
> 
> the question is, what is he going to do about it now?


End file.
